Flippidy Fuck Off

Are you MAD?

I told my parents today. 

I told them what I felt. How I have hopes for being a Malaysian.

For upholding my responsibility as a citizen. As a young adult. 

Regardless, I told them what I had inside of me for quite a while. I want to take advantage. Money? Yes. Time? Yes. Of them? Fuck yeah.

Don’t get me wrong nonetheless. I want to take advantage of their money, for I have been doing it for 20 years of my life. I want to take advantage of time for I am young and I am eager for a lot of things. I want to take advantage of them for they are the kindest and most open parents I could ever ask for.

So I told them my dreams, and hopes. Technically I spoke logic to them with a dash of politics into it. 

Wait. What? Son + Mum + Politics = Profit?!?!?

You mad? 

No. Clearly I wanted to share with them my thoughts and how I was educated to reach and achieve something greater. That many few of my age actually realize. I believe most of them are still stuck in their tiny shell, just hoping to get good grades and get the paper that declares them as independent according to what reality is today.

Its sad that we are just taught what to do since we were kids, until we grow old.

I’d hate to be like that. I want more. I want more to life. I want what everybody wanted. A choice of being liberated from choice itself.

Whatever choices we make, would still lead to the final option. Money.

But money was never my goal. I wanted security. Or at least a chance to grasp what few could. And that is what I told my mum.

She said, “Don’t be bothered so much about politics for acknowledging is enough”.

I shot back at my mum and asked her, “Does knowing yet doing nothing, makes a difference from who we are?”

She clearly agreed in total silence. I felt, like I was actually, making use for once with what I have learned, as well as being confident of the personality that I have become. 

But maybe, I have misinterpreted her silence. Maybe.

Nevertheless, I want to pursue. I crave the need to be strong. The urge to race.

But at the same time, I am always lazy.

Fucking lazy to be honest. And it’ll kill me one day.

So I’m slowly creeping up ahead, trying to be different. I want to.

And I will.

Something you should know

I sit here facing the computer, my hands are moving but my brain isn’t.

Where should I start?

You can choose to listen, or reject entirely, what I am about to write. Its not that I don’t care about you, but I have an explanation.

First, I am not asking for attention from anybody else.

Secondly, I am talking to you personally. 

I guess I should first tell you, that I want you to be better. I don’t want you to depend on me. I need you to be stronger. I want you to be stronger. Stronger without me. I am not saying I do not want you in my life anymore. I am just saying that this is the time. Now. Its now or never. 

I don’t know what crap am I talking about honestly, but I just want you to know that I am doing this for your sake. After that sentence, you’re probably going to think “yeah sure, run away”. Well, if that’s what you think of me now, then I am sorry and you should just stop reading. Why? Well you already have an initial idea of what I am and you’re already believing it And you’re assuming. But if you’re not, then just know that I am thinking of your future. And I do not hold or determine your future. You do.

I cannot always be there, and I also realized that I am not always there. I want you to chase your dreams. I do respect what we had, and what we might have, but that doesn’t mean anything if we keep falling apart. 

I do believe in the future of us, but right now you need to believe in yourself. 

All I am trying to say is that, I still do care. But caring doesn’t make things better. There’s alot more things to sort out, and I am doing that right now. I want to make life better, I want to grab opportunity by the balls.

And if we keep fumbling up and down, it wont bring anybody good. It will just drag us down to the deepest abyss. You dont need that, I dont. We’re supposed to be chasing what we want, instead of dwelling about something we don’t want. 

Let us be stronger, and if that happens. We’ll find a way back.

Who said I’ll forget you?

I still do believe in you. I really do. 

Who said that I don’t care?

Nobody did. This is my way, and I am hoping for the best. 

If you think I am running away, then so be it.

I can only convince, but the answer lies within you.

For a better future. I hope.

Words I hold dearly onto

“Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.” — V’s introduction to Evey (In simpler words) Behold! Before you is a humble stage performer, cast, against his will, by the whims of fate, to the roles of both victim and villain. The face you see now is not just some meaningless costume. It is a remnant of the People’s Voice, which has since gone and disappeared. However, this past annoyance stands courageously reborn and has sworn to conquer the evil and corrupt, who promote greed and the violent suppression of free will. The only choice is vengeance; a personal war held as a promise, but not in vain, for the importance and self-evidence of this quest shall one day exonerate the watchful and the righteous. But in truth, this thick soup of words has become too excessive. So, let me simply finish by saying that it’s my very good honor to meet you, and you may call me V.~